Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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