That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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