He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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