Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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