she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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