I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
