I skipped work to stalk him.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
there is puke in my bra ... again
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