his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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