i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
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i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
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In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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