If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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