At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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