Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
