it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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