right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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