if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
