dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
this will be a night to untag.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I think i got beer on your cat.
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