I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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