All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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