I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
