He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Randomize
