On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
