I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize