Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
