We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
pop tarts are not kleenex
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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