That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
