yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
