Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
