my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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