so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
