hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
