The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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