and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
