this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
