Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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