Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize