walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
