i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Randomize
