Can i not drive my cunt home
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Randomize
