i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
