so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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