We need to rekindle our bromance
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
