I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
