At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
