I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
