Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
