I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
