I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
That accounts for only three of the penises
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize