im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You're a waste of cheezeits
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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