i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
There's always time for handjobs
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
