Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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