I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
