Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize