I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
If that was your dad, he is hot
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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