You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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