Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
