You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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