I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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