You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
