DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
