Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
